I was at work and decided to take the pregnancy test I had in my purse that was left over from the two-pack I had bought the week before when I didn't get my period. Thinking there was not a chance in hell I was pregnant (I was on birth control pills), I looked down at the test immediately after peeing on it and saw that there was a line in the little window that was not the control window. I looked at the picture for "not pregnant" in the directions and thought "Hmm, that's weird.. my test is opposite the one in the picture." After about .5 seconds my dumbass moment passed. "Oh. My. God," I thought, "I'm pregnant." Sure enough the control line showed up a few seconds later. I literally started pacing. I didn't want to call M because he had a really important meeting with his boss that afternoon and I knew he would get all panicky and act like a total weirdo.
Later that night when M got home he found me lying in our bed sobbing. Completely freaked out, he asked what was wrong. I told him to go look in the bathroom, where he found 4 positive pregnancy tests. His only reaction was "Umm, wow," which was actually much better than I expected. He paced back and forth for a while while I continued crying. We had just moved to a new state, I was beginning my graduate program, and he had just started a new career. Not to mention we weren't even married and were living in a one-bedroom apartment. Having a baby was the last thing on our minds.
Over the next few days we both continued to freak out a bit. I knew in my head I was going to keep the baby and I think M knew too, he was just waiting for me to say it. As the weeks past I came around to the idea of being a mom and by the time we told our parents I was pretty excited.
Now I look at Bear and wonder what I did before him. Everything pre-baby seems so much less important to me now. It's like there was a piece missing that I never realized until he was here. He is my world and I can't imagine if things hadn't turned out the way that they did.
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