Bear and I had trouble
breastfeeding from the start. He wouldn't latch in the hospital despite
my receiving help from three different nurses and two lactation consultants.
After 24 hours he still hadn't eaten and when they came in to weigh him I
broke down and cried. I felt so horrible. The lactation consultant
asked if I wanted to try a nipple shield, but warned me that they often
lead to low supply and could be difficult to wean babies off of. I was
desperate at that point so I agreed. He did much better with the shield.
The lactation consultant was still worried that he wasn't getting
enough, so during each feeding we used a syringe/tube system to give him
a little extra expressed breast milk while he was latched on. They were
also worried about the shield leading to supply issues, so they had me
pumping after every feeding 'round the clock. Bear nursed every 2 hours
for about 45 minutes at a time, so pumping as well was exhausting. After
I left the hospital the lactation consultant continued to check in with
me. I kept saying that I thought I was making plenty of milk despite
using the shield, but she assured me that I needed to keep pumping after
nursing sessions if I wanted to sustain my supply.
While I was in the hospital they also informed me that Bear was slightly jaundiced and that I would need to follow up with the pediatrician to ensure that it subsided. At his first check-up his bilirubin levels were still considered high, so the doctor told us we would need to return in a few days to check them again. For a long time we were going to the doctor on a weekly (sometimes twice a week) basis for heel sticks to check his levels. They remained fairly high for quite a while, but I am lucky that I had an amazing pediatrician who constantly reassured me that it would most likely resolve itself. Still, between being a brand new mom and dealing with breastfeeding and weight gain issues I was a wreck. Fortunately for us Bear's bilirubin levels eventually came down and he also began gaining weight like a champ. Little did we know, that was just the beginning of our struggle.
When Bear was 4 days old I started to feel like I was coming down with
the flu. I had a fever, chills, and was completely miserable. My mom,
who had been staying with us, asked me if I had any red marks on my
boobs. I went to the bathroom to check and, sure enough, both breasts
were streaked with red. I had mastitis on both sides. After that I went
down to only pumping twice a day after feedings and also weaned Bear off
the nipple shield (no easy feat- I thought we'd never get rid of that
stupid thing) sometime around 8 weeks. My boobs became slightly more
manageable, but I was already dealing with a huge oversupply. Every time
I nursed Bear he would pull of screaming the second I had a let down. I
ended up having to unlatch him during every let down, catch my milk in a
towel, and re-latch him. I also turned to block feeding. That went on
for 4 months and during that time I got mastitis three more times. Luckily by that point I could tell fairly easily when it was coming on and I would put in a call to my doctor for a refill on antibiotics. I will say that the one good the about having an oversupply meant that I
always had a freezer full of milk. In fact, I ended up with so much
that I was able to donate a lot of it to a mom in my area who needed it
for her baby. Doing that helped me deal with it emotionally a tiny bit,
though it was still very frustrating most of the time.
Around 2 months in Bear was becoming increasingly fussy and
gassy. He also had very loose, dark green, mucousy stools, eczema, and
seemed to be permanently congested and wheezy. After speaking with the
pediatrician about milk intolerances and all of its symptoms I cut all
dairy out of my diet. Bear became so much better within just a day.
About a month later though he still seemed to be having tummy issues. I
did some research and found that half of all babies who are sensitive to
dairy are also sensitive to soy. I cut soy out and once again, Bear
improved tremendously.
When Bear was 4 months old, we were still really struggling. He was a very fussy baby
and never slept well. Getting 2 straight hours of him at night was a
miracle. We would walk/rock/bounce him back to sleep and the second we
laid him down he would wake up again. He was also still having a hard
time nursing without pulling off and crying. I explained this to his
doctor at one of his appointments and he said it sounded like it might
be reflux. He prescribed us Zantac, which made absolutely no difference.
The next medicine they had us try was Prevacid. It seemed to help slightly, but after
about a month on it I stopped giving it to him and saw no change, so we
kept him off of it. During this time, I was secretly a mess. Despite
huge efforts and help on M's part, I felt very exhausted, alone,
and anxious. Looking back I think I definitely suffered from a little
postpartum anxiety. Every evening I was overcome with intense feelings
of
anxiety about the night ahead of me. At the time I didn't know how to
put my emotions into words, so I never told anyone. Luckily, my anxiety
seemed to fade slowly on it's own and I felt more like myself around the
9 month mark.
At 6 months Bear was still having eczema flair ups and tummy troubles
now and then, so my pediatrician wanted him to be allergy tested since
he was already having issues with dairy and soy that I ate. During our
appointment with the allergist I felt like we were completely blown off.
The doctor performed a skin prick test on him and determined he was
only allergic to egg. He told us that I should just reintroduce dairy and soy and that his eczema wasn't bad enough to be a big deal. I left feeling very unsure, but I've never been
one to question a doctor's diagnosis, so we went on our way and I cut
egg out of my diet as well.
A little while before Bear turned 9 months I gave him a tiny bit of
hummus to taste. He ate it and immediately became red and blotchy and
began coughing and gagging. I called my pediatrician who referred us to a
different allergist. During his appointment they did another skin prick
test followed by a blood test. The results came back to show that
Bear was highly allergic to milk, egg, wheat, nuts, and sesame. I was
upset but also felt relieved- we finally had some answers to all of the
issues we were having! Since finding out, he is a much happier baby and is sleeping so much better as well.
I considered quitting breastfeeding and using a hypoallergenic formula
many times, but could never bring myself to do it. I've had so many
struggles along the way and I'm finally starting to really enjoy our
breastfeeding relationship. Bear is now 11 months old and I am breastfeeding
him on a dairy, egg, wheat, nut, and sesame-free diet. It's not always
easy, but I have become fairly used to it. I had originally planned on
quitting at 1 year, but since he would need either whole milk or formula
until he turns 2, I have decided to keep breastfeeding as long as we are
both enjoying it and my supply cooperates despite my being back at work full-time.
If any other breastfeeding moms out there are struggling, I just want to say that I understand how you feel and you are amazing. Breastfeeding may be "natural", but for me it was anything but easy. Despite everything I faced, I'm so happy I was able to stick with it and I hope you are able to do the same if that is what you want. It's such a selfless thing to do and I don't think there is enough support out there for us. I still believe that every mom should be sent home from the hospital with an assistant and personal cheerleader. And a trophy. Of course a trophy.
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Sep 16, 2012
Jul 25, 2012
Vacation
It's been waaaaaay too long since my last post. In my defense, life has been crazier than ever. We just got back from vacation, I'm scrambling to get everything ready for when I start teaching this fall, and we just found out that Bear has some pretty bad food allergies:( Oh, and did I mention we are ENGAGED?! Crazy, right? M proposed on vacation, which I was totally not expecting. I'll post more about all of these things later, but I wanted to at least get some pics up of our fabulous vacation.
We went to South Haven, MI, a beautiful little town right on Lake Michigan that we visit every summer with my family. We bring a couple boats and rent a place on the canal. It was pretty hot this year, so we didn't get to venture down to the beach as much as I would have liked, but there was lots of fun pool time and it was nice just to see all of my family. Unfortunately Bear slept horribly pretty much the entire trip. It was like having a newborn all over again because he was up almost every hour at night. I'm not positive, but I have a feeling part of it was due to his allergies. He's on a couple medications now and is sleeping much better. Phew!
I'm ready to go back!
We went to South Haven, MI, a beautiful little town right on Lake Michigan that we visit every summer with my family. We bring a couple boats and rent a place on the canal. It was pretty hot this year, so we didn't get to venture down to the beach as much as I would have liked, but there was lots of fun pool time and it was nice just to see all of my family. Unfortunately Bear slept horribly pretty much the entire trip. It was like having a newborn all over again because he was up almost every hour at night. I'm not positive, but I have a feeling part of it was due to his allergies. He's on a couple medications now and is sleeping much better. Phew!
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| Bear looking manly in his ladybug float |
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| Looking awesome in his ladybug float |
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| With Nana |
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| My sweet nephew |
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| Taking a break! |
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| Fun in the cabana! |
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| My youngest nephew |
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| My silly (oldest) nephew |
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| With Papa |
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| Accidentally took this himself with my phone. MySpace, here he comes! |
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| At the beach with Daddy |
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| First time in the lake! |
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| Hangin' by the boats with Dad |
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| Bear and I at the beach |
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| My little cheeser |
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| Staying cool at the beach! |
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| Klassy |
I'm ready to go back!
May 26, 2012
Recent Events
As I said in one of my previous posts, we have been crazy busy lately due to my being in two weddings this month! The first was a 6 hour drive south and Bear did really well. We seem to have worked out a pretty good system for car travel which goes a little something like this:
-We keep him up a bit before we leave so that he naps for the first stretch.
-Once he wakes up I wait until he starts to fuss before I get in the back with him and dangle various toys in front of his face. This usually gets another 30 minutes or so out of him.
-He eventually makes it clear that he has had enough and we stop for gas/food/pee break.
On the way down we stopped to visit my sister (who I never get to see) for a night, so that was an added bonus. This was nice because the next day we only had an hour to go before we got to our destination.
The morning of the wedding M's parents met us at the hotel to watch Bear so that M and I could enjoy ourselves. The wedding and reception were tons of fun. The bridal party was made up of all my good college friends so there were lots of laughs (and drinks) throughout the day.
M and I both had a really good time. The whole pumping every couple hours thing kind of sucked, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I will say that events like these make me really excited for the day when I am done breastfeeding and no longer have to worry about how much Bear ate, when I should pump, how many drinks I can have, etc.
On to wedding #2..
This one was in Chicago, which was a breeze of a drive compared to the first one. The hotel was amazing and my parents met us there to watch Bear since both M and I were in the wedding party. Again, it was annoying to lug my pump around the whole time and worry about finding a place and time to pump, but everyone was really accommodating and understanding.
I definitely got the hang of the photo booth because I have about 20 strips of those pictures. Apparently that is where I spent a good chunk of the night.
Everything about the wedding and reception was beautiful and perfectly set up. The bride even told the chef ahead of time about Bear's food sensitivities so they made a special dish for me, which was amazing. Those of us at the head table were asked what we would like to drink every 3 seconds and at one point I had 4 cocktails sitting in front of me. It was awesome.
So there you have it- 2 (out of town) weddings in 3 weeks. It was fun but I really hope I never have to do that again with an infant.
In other news, Bear recently had his first trip to the zoo! We met our mom/baby group there for an afternoon and Bear had a great time. He loved watching the polar bear and was a trooper even though he had a craptastic nap day.
Lastly, since today was opening day at our golf club's pool we obviously had to make an appearance;) The weather was crappy on and off and M was on call so he had to go in to work both this morning and then again this evening, but it was nice to get out of the house and spend a couple hours in the (partial) sun.
Whew! May was a busy month! Let's hope June is a little more relaxing!
**Edited to add:
I meant to comment on Bear's sleeping habits during our travels. I'm not sure if it's because he is used to all the traveling we do, but the majority of the time he sleeps better when we are away than he does at home. We always take the Pack'n'Play and I will wear the crib sheet in my shirt for a couple hours before we leave and pack it with my things so that it smells like me (I do the same with his Aden&Anais lovie). It probably doesn't make much of a difference anymore, but it was just something I started doing when he was a newborn that seemed to help, so I stuck with it. We take my iPad as well so that we can play his white noise on it during naps and at night (and occasionally in the car if things get crazy). Lastly, I always make sure to request at least a queen-size bed if we are staying at a hotel, just in case he does have a bad night so that I can put him in bed with us without any issues.
When we are out of town and other people are watching him I let them do whatever they need to do to get him to sleep. When my parents were watching Bear last weekend the only way they could get him to nap was by driving him around. They didn't mind at all so it was completely fine with me. I don't let him cry himself to sleep when we are away. Being in a new place with new sounds and new smells can be scary shit for a 7-month-old, especially when their parents aren't around, so that just isn't an option for us.
Like I said though, as long as we bring a few comforting things from home he does pretty well, which is fantastic considering all the traveling we do.
-We keep him up a bit before we leave so that he naps for the first stretch.
-Once he wakes up I wait until he starts to fuss before I get in the back with him and dangle various toys in front of his face. This usually gets another 30 minutes or so out of him.
-He eventually makes it clear that he has had enough and we stop for gas/food/pee break.
On the way down we stopped to visit my sister (who I never get to see) for a night, so that was an added bonus. This was nice because the next day we only had an hour to go before we got to our destination.
The morning of the wedding M's parents met us at the hotel to watch Bear so that M and I could enjoy ourselves. The wedding and reception were tons of fun. The bridal party was made up of all my good college friends so there were lots of laughs (and drinks) throughout the day.
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| Bear hangin' in his auntie's back yard |
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| Me and a friend before the ceremony. The blue dresses were so flattering on everyone! |
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| Bubble blowin' |
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| That would be our party bus |
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| My friend and I on our way to the reception |
On to wedding #2..
This one was in Chicago, which was a breeze of a drive compared to the first one. The hotel was amazing and my parents met us there to watch Bear since both M and I were in the wedding party. Again, it was annoying to lug my pump around the whole time and worry about finding a place and time to pump, but everyone was really accommodating and understanding.
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| Bear getting comfy at the hotel |
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| All the girls getting ready. Notice the window washers... |
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| The bride and I headed to the reception |
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| M and I on the party bus |
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| I LOVED my hair! (I loved my hair for the other wedding as well, I had just never had anything like this done before.) |
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| My drunk-ass had a little difficulty figuring out the photo booth |
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| M and I |
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| Looking somewhat normal.. well, except for the fact that I couldn't figure out where the camera was |
I definitely got the hang of the photo booth because I have about 20 strips of those pictures. Apparently that is where I spent a good chunk of the night.
Everything about the wedding and reception was beautiful and perfectly set up. The bride even told the chef ahead of time about Bear's food sensitivities so they made a special dish for me, which was amazing. Those of us at the head table were asked what we would like to drink every 3 seconds and at one point I had 4 cocktails sitting in front of me. It was awesome.
So there you have it- 2 (out of town) weddings in 3 weeks. It was fun but I really hope I never have to do that again with an infant.
In other news, Bear recently had his first trip to the zoo! We met our mom/baby group there for an afternoon and Bear had a great time. He loved watching the polar bear and was a trooper even though he had a craptastic nap day.
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| Bear and I riding the carousel! |
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| Mr. Polar Bear |
Lastly, since today was opening day at our golf club's pool we obviously had to make an appearance;) The weather was crappy on and off and M was on call so he had to go in to work both this morning and then again this evening, but it was nice to get out of the house and spend a couple hours in the (partial) sun.
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| Bear and I |
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| M and Bear |
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| Takin' a break! |
**Edited to add:
I meant to comment on Bear's sleeping habits during our travels. I'm not sure if it's because he is used to all the traveling we do, but the majority of the time he sleeps better when we are away than he does at home. We always take the Pack'n'Play and I will wear the crib sheet in my shirt for a couple hours before we leave and pack it with my things so that it smells like me (I do the same with his Aden&Anais lovie). It probably doesn't make much of a difference anymore, but it was just something I started doing when he was a newborn that seemed to help, so I stuck with it. We take my iPad as well so that we can play his white noise on it during naps and at night (and occasionally in the car if things get crazy). Lastly, I always make sure to request at least a queen-size bed if we are staying at a hotel, just in case he does have a bad night so that I can put him in bed with us without any issues.
When we are out of town and other people are watching him I let them do whatever they need to do to get him to sleep. When my parents were watching Bear last weekend the only way they could get him to nap was by driving him around. They didn't mind at all so it was completely fine with me. I don't let him cry himself to sleep when we are away. Being in a new place with new sounds and new smells can be scary shit for a 7-month-old, especially when their parents aren't around, so that just isn't an option for us.
Like I said though, as long as we bring a few comforting things from home he does pretty well, which is fantastic considering all the traveling we do.
Mar 29, 2012
Never Say Never
This is a very important lesson that every parent will come to learn, but probably not before it's already too late. When you're pregnant with your first child the words "I will never..." become all too familiar. You will utter them to yourself when you see a 3-year-old having an epic meltdown in the Target checkout lane or when you are out to eat with a couple who is spoon-feeding their 4-month-old rice cereal (not even oatmeal cereal! don't they know that shit has no nutritional value?!). Well I'm going to do you a favor and tell you to knock it off because you will end up doing all the shit you said you'd never do.
A few of my "I will never's":
I've read 3 books on sleep. The first talked about how evil CIO is and how it leads to issues such as anxiety and depression later in life. Freaking awesome. So if I let my baby cry I might as well set aside a fund for all of the therapy he will need later in life. While I agree that letting a baby younger than 4 months cry is NOT a good idea, I do think that babies eventually learn to "manipulate" and their crying is not always indicative of their needing something (lots of times it is though, so I think it's important to learn to distinguish their different cries). I don't know how many times I've walked into Bear's room because he is crying and before I'm even next to the crib he spots me and is grinning from ear to ear. Stinker.
I can't really remember what all the second book said, so it was obviously really helpful. The third book talked about how to do CIO without doing flat out extinction crying, which is when you let your baby cry for however long it takes before they fall asleep. Instead you do check-ins at different intervals (5 minutes, 7 minutes, etc.) and try soothing baby back to sleep without picking him up. In theory this is a great idea for parents who, like me, could never handle full-out extinction crying. (I seriously side-eye parents who let their baby cry for an hour or longer without check-ins, but I won't get into that since this post is about NOT being judgey.) The issue I did have with this though is that my baby doesn't have a built in timer, so when I am supposed to wait 7 minutes and he starts crying hysterically at 2 minutes, that's 5 whole minutes that I have to let him cry hysterically (and by that time I'm usually crying too).
So I decided to take bits and pieces from each book and throw the rest out the window (not literally of course- that's called littering). I didn't want to let my baby cry but I also knew that I couldn't go much longer waking up every 2 hours at night. We all needed more sleep, including Bear, so when he turned 4.5 months I started implementing my own little CIO method based on what I had learned, Bear's reactions, and my own instincts. Here is a short run-down of what I do:
-When initially going down I usually nurse or rock him to sleep
-If he isn't hungry or fights me rocking him then I walk with him for a bit in his room (shades drawn, white noise on) until he is calm and then put him in his crib
-If he talks/whines I don't go in
-If he cries I will usually wait a couple minutes before going in to check on him, all the while listening to his cries and watching him on the video monitor to make sure he is okay
-If he becomes hysterical at ANY time I go in to try and soothe him without picking him up
-If that doesn't work and I can't calm him I pick him up and rock or nurse him
I tried this a couple times starting at 4.5 months and he became hysterical fairly quickly. I decided he wasn't ready. Shortly after 5 months I tried again and had a little bit more success. When he woke at night I didn't go in right away and for the first time ever he cried/whined for about 5 minutes and fell back to sleep. Halle-freaking-lujah. A couple weeks later I was struggling to get him down for a nap because he did not want me rocking him so I put him in his crib. He whined/cried on and off for about 7 minutes, fell asleep, and slept for AN HOUR AND A HALF!!
That was a couple weeks ago and since then it's only gotten better. For the past week Bear has gone to bed around 8pm, woken up once to eat between 1 and 3am, and then slept until 7am or later! Naps are still pretty short (30-45 minutes), but I can usually get him to fall asleep on his own for one nap a day (never in a million years did I think this was possible). Of course we still have our off days (and nights), but I think that's to be expected with an infant.
I should also add that we recently started solids (before 6 months?!), though I can't say whether or not it helps him sleep better. He only gets 2 tbsp. of sweet potato around 6:30pm, but that tiny bit does seem to keep him full a bit longer.
So there you have it. A really long explanation as to why you should never start a sentence "I will never..." Because you will. And then you will feel like a dumbass.
And of course, a recent picture of Bear:
A few of my "I will never's":
- "I will never bed-share." Yeah, that one didn't even make it out the hospital doors.
- "I will never start solids before 6 months (and when I do it will not be rice cereal)." Double fail.
- "I will never let my baby cry it out."
I've read 3 books on sleep. The first talked about how evil CIO is and how it leads to issues such as anxiety and depression later in life. Freaking awesome. So if I let my baby cry I might as well set aside a fund for all of the therapy he will need later in life. While I agree that letting a baby younger than 4 months cry is NOT a good idea, I do think that babies eventually learn to "manipulate" and their crying is not always indicative of their needing something (lots of times it is though, so I think it's important to learn to distinguish their different cries). I don't know how many times I've walked into Bear's room because he is crying and before I'm even next to the crib he spots me and is grinning from ear to ear. Stinker.
I can't really remember what all the second book said, so it was obviously really helpful. The third book talked about how to do CIO without doing flat out extinction crying, which is when you let your baby cry for however long it takes before they fall asleep. Instead you do check-ins at different intervals (5 minutes, 7 minutes, etc.) and try soothing baby back to sleep without picking him up. In theory this is a great idea for parents who, like me, could never handle full-out extinction crying. (I seriously side-eye parents who let their baby cry for an hour or longer without check-ins, but I won't get into that since this post is about NOT being judgey.) The issue I did have with this though is that my baby doesn't have a built in timer, so when I am supposed to wait 7 minutes and he starts crying hysterically at 2 minutes, that's 5 whole minutes that I have to let him cry hysterically (and by that time I'm usually crying too).
So I decided to take bits and pieces from each book and throw the rest out the window (not literally of course- that's called littering). I didn't want to let my baby cry but I also knew that I couldn't go much longer waking up every 2 hours at night. We all needed more sleep, including Bear, so when he turned 4.5 months I started implementing my own little CIO method based on what I had learned, Bear's reactions, and my own instincts. Here is a short run-down of what I do:
-When initially going down I usually nurse or rock him to sleep
-If he isn't hungry or fights me rocking him then I walk with him for a bit in his room (shades drawn, white noise on) until he is calm and then put him in his crib
-If he talks/whines I don't go in
-If he cries I will usually wait a couple minutes before going in to check on him, all the while listening to his cries and watching him on the video monitor to make sure he is okay
-If he becomes hysterical at ANY time I go in to try and soothe him without picking him up
-If that doesn't work and I can't calm him I pick him up and rock or nurse him
I tried this a couple times starting at 4.5 months and he became hysterical fairly quickly. I decided he wasn't ready. Shortly after 5 months I tried again and had a little bit more success. When he woke at night I didn't go in right away and for the first time ever he cried/whined for about 5 minutes and fell back to sleep. Halle-freaking-lujah. A couple weeks later I was struggling to get him down for a nap because he did not want me rocking him so I put him in his crib. He whined/cried on and off for about 7 minutes, fell asleep, and slept for AN HOUR AND A HALF!!
That was a couple weeks ago and since then it's only gotten better. For the past week Bear has gone to bed around 8pm, woken up once to eat between 1 and 3am, and then slept until 7am or later! Naps are still pretty short (30-45 minutes), but I can usually get him to fall asleep on his own for one nap a day (never in a million years did I think this was possible). Of course we still have our off days (and nights), but I think that's to be expected with an infant.
I should also add that we recently started solids (before 6 months?!), though I can't say whether or not it helps him sleep better. He only gets 2 tbsp. of sweet potato around 6:30pm, but that tiny bit does seem to keep him full a bit longer.
So there you have it. A really long explanation as to why you should never start a sentence "I will never..." Because you will. And then you will feel like a dumbass.
And of course, a recent picture of Bear:
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| Being awesome in his North Face jacket. |
Jan 5, 2012
Mother-effing Crib Transition and the Party Baby
My baby might just be the worst sleeper on the planet. Okay, maybe not. But that was definitely the thought crossing my mind at 3 a.m. when I was rocking Bear back to sleep for the SEVENTH time last night. See, now that he’s almost 3 months old we’re trying to get him out of the Fisher Price Rock 'N' Play Sleeper, aka The Baby Sleep Godsend, in our room and into the crib in his room.
Bear has never been a great (or even good) sleeper. He woke up from his 3 week newborn coma and has been a party baby ever since. We finally got him up to a 5.5 hour stretch at night, but that lasted a whopping 3 days before his sleep was back to shit. Since he’s been waking up so frequently, we figured we might as well transition him to his crib at night because we really have nothing to lose at this point.
Bear has been “napping” in his crib during the day for a few weeks now. I say “napping” because he never sleeps longer than 45 minutes... Never. I blame it on The Forty-five Minute Intruder. If you don’t know what (or who) The Forty-five Minute Intruder is then you are insanely lucky. He is a horrible, terrible, awful beast whose sole purpose in life is to disrupt your baby’s sleep and make you an incredibly pissed off parent. Unfortunately, The Intruder can only be seen and heard by babies so any hope of throat punching him is completely lost. Since he is completely invisible to grown adults I can’t say that I know exactly what he looks like but I imagine it’s something like this.
In all seriousness The Forty-five Minute Intruder refers to that oh-so-vulnerable time during a baby’s sleep cycle where they transition from deep sleep to light sleep. This usually happens between 30 minutes and an hour and lasts for about 10 minutes. During that time baby will easily awaken if uncomfortable. This can be due to hunger, a wet diaper, being too hot or too cold, having their head in an uncomfortable position, an itchy toe, a stray eyelash... you get the idea. Some experts say that there are different things you can do during this period to soothe baby so that they can pass through this transition without waking. To them I say, “Pffffft.” I have done everything possible the fight The Intruder both before sleep and during- swaddling, not swaddling, swaddling with one arm out, swaddling with both arms out, putting Bear on his side, putting Bear on his other side, elevating his crib mattress, placing rolled-up receiving blankets on each side of him so that he feels “hugged”, patting his butt, rubbing his belly, tickling his face, bribing him with candy, giving him money- none of it works! So nap time usually goes something like this: I spend 30 minutes walking, rocking, bouncing, patting, and “shh”ing Bear to sleep, I put him in his crib, he sleeps for 5 to 45 minutes (lately closer to 5), he wakes up crying, I go in to try and soothe him back to sleep, I am unsuccessful at soothing him back to sleep, I repeat the whole process once more, I give up and throw him in the Beco Gemini, aka The Other Baby Sleep Godsend, and he passes out for an hour and a half.
Now, you may have heard of this mythical unicorn-like creature called “drowsy but awake”. Once baby reaches a certain age a lot of pediatricians and sleep experts will recommend putting your baby down in this state. In theory, it’s an excellent idea. See, people (and babies ARE people) wake up several times throughout the night due to our sleep cycles, we just don’t always realize it. When a baby is rocked to sleep in its mother’s arms and then later wakes up in a different environment, e.g. another room or a crib, its first thought is “Where the fuck am I and what the hell happened?”- kind of how you felt after that frat party in college where you drank a little too much jungle juice and woke up next to that guy everyone was calling “Pisser” the night before due to his notoriously wetting the bed after a few too many beers- scary, right? Then baby starts thinking “Where the eff is that warm, cozy person that rocked me to sleep ever so gently and why am I lying on this rock hard mattress in this cold, dark room by myself? This sucks.” You know what happens next? Yup. Baby is screaming its head off. In contrast, when you put baby down while he/she is still slightly awake they are thinking something along the lines of “I’m sooo sleepy... This isn’t so bad... I’m sooo sleepy,” and they drift off to baby slumber land. When they wake up (thanks Intruder) they think “Oh yeah, I’m in my crib (or wherever you put them down)... I’m still sooo sleepy... I guess I’ll go back to sleep.” Unfortunately my son is completely wise to this method of putting your baby to sleep because every time I am about to put him down “drowsy” his eyes fly open and he is no longer “drowsy”. Boo.
So his naps are crap. Big whoop. I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is him waking every 45 minutes to an hour every night when tossing him in the Beco isn’t an option. Again, I’ve pulled out all the same tricks I tried for nap time- none of it works. I’m tired.
I know what you’re thinking- “Why didn’t you just put him in his crib from the start so that you didn’t have this problem?” Well, when you are a new mom running on two hours of sleep you do a lot of stupid shit, okay? Bear also had some breathing issues in the beginning due to a dairy allergy that we have since resolved... and maybe I couldn’t stand the thought of my itty bitty little baby all the way across our (huge 1,000 sq. ft.) apartment in that big crib all by himself.
My bottom line is this: there are a hundred different techniques and methods you can use, but the fact of the matter is that some babies just don’t sleep as well as others. It has nothing to do with you as a parent. I don’t know how many times I’ve cried to M through sleep deprived tears “What am I doing wrong?!” Nothing. Bear just isn’t a good sleeper, but he WILL get there... eventually.
If you happen to have a party baby too, I feel for you. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s REALLY hard. We just have to remember that our babies are not terrible beings who are trying to kill us slowly through sleep deprivation, they are spirited little individuals. This phase will pass and become a hazy, laughable memory and before we know it they will be teenagers and we will need heavy machinery to get them out of bed. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
Bear has never been a great (or even good) sleeper. He woke up from his 3 week newborn coma and has been a party baby ever since. We finally got him up to a 5.5 hour stretch at night, but that lasted a whopping 3 days before his sleep was back to shit. Since he’s been waking up so frequently, we figured we might as well transition him to his crib at night because we really have nothing to lose at this point.
Bear has been “napping” in his crib during the day for a few weeks now. I say “napping” because he never sleeps longer than 45 minutes... Never. I blame it on The Forty-five Minute Intruder. If you don’t know what (or who) The Forty-five Minute Intruder is then you are insanely lucky. He is a horrible, terrible, awful beast whose sole purpose in life is to disrupt your baby’s sleep and make you an incredibly pissed off parent. Unfortunately, The Intruder can only be seen and heard by babies so any hope of throat punching him is completely lost. Since he is completely invisible to grown adults I can’t say that I know exactly what he looks like but I imagine it’s something like this.
In all seriousness The Forty-five Minute Intruder refers to that oh-so-vulnerable time during a baby’s sleep cycle where they transition from deep sleep to light sleep. This usually happens between 30 minutes and an hour and lasts for about 10 minutes. During that time baby will easily awaken if uncomfortable. This can be due to hunger, a wet diaper, being too hot or too cold, having their head in an uncomfortable position, an itchy toe, a stray eyelash... you get the idea. Some experts say that there are different things you can do during this period to soothe baby so that they can pass through this transition without waking. To them I say, “Pffffft.” I have done everything possible the fight The Intruder both before sleep and during- swaddling, not swaddling, swaddling with one arm out, swaddling with both arms out, putting Bear on his side, putting Bear on his other side, elevating his crib mattress, placing rolled-up receiving blankets on each side of him so that he feels “hugged”, patting his butt, rubbing his belly, tickling his face, bribing him with candy, giving him money- none of it works! So nap time usually goes something like this: I spend 30 minutes walking, rocking, bouncing, patting, and “shh”ing Bear to sleep, I put him in his crib, he sleeps for 5 to 45 minutes (lately closer to 5), he wakes up crying, I go in to try and soothe him back to sleep, I am unsuccessful at soothing him back to sleep, I repeat the whole process once more, I give up and throw him in the Beco Gemini, aka The Other Baby Sleep Godsend, and he passes out for an hour and a half.
Now, you may have heard of this mythical unicorn-like creature called “drowsy but awake”. Once baby reaches a certain age a lot of pediatricians and sleep experts will recommend putting your baby down in this state. In theory, it’s an excellent idea. See, people (and babies ARE people) wake up several times throughout the night due to our sleep cycles, we just don’t always realize it. When a baby is rocked to sleep in its mother’s arms and then later wakes up in a different environment, e.g. another room or a crib, its first thought is “Where the fuck am I and what the hell happened?”- kind of how you felt after that frat party in college where you drank a little too much jungle juice and woke up next to that guy everyone was calling “Pisser” the night before due to his notoriously wetting the bed after a few too many beers- scary, right? Then baby starts thinking “Where the eff is that warm, cozy person that rocked me to sleep ever so gently and why am I lying on this rock hard mattress in this cold, dark room by myself? This sucks.” You know what happens next? Yup. Baby is screaming its head off. In contrast, when you put baby down while he/she is still slightly awake they are thinking something along the lines of “I’m sooo sleepy... This isn’t so bad... I’m sooo sleepy,” and they drift off to baby slumber land. When they wake up (thanks Intruder) they think “Oh yeah, I’m in my crib (or wherever you put them down)... I’m still sooo sleepy... I guess I’ll go back to sleep.” Unfortunately my son is completely wise to this method of putting your baby to sleep because every time I am about to put him down “drowsy” his eyes fly open and he is no longer “drowsy”. Boo.
So his naps are crap. Big whoop. I can deal with that. What I can’t deal with is him waking every 45 minutes to an hour every night when tossing him in the Beco isn’t an option. Again, I’ve pulled out all the same tricks I tried for nap time- none of it works. I’m tired.
I know what you’re thinking- “Why didn’t you just put him in his crib from the start so that you didn’t have this problem?” Well, when you are a new mom running on two hours of sleep you do a lot of stupid shit, okay? Bear also had some breathing issues in the beginning due to a dairy allergy that we have since resolved... and maybe I couldn’t stand the thought of my itty bitty little baby all the way across our (huge 1,000 sq. ft.) apartment in that big crib all by himself.
My bottom line is this: there are a hundred different techniques and methods you can use, but the fact of the matter is that some babies just don’t sleep as well as others. It has nothing to do with you as a parent. I don’t know how many times I’ve cried to M through sleep deprived tears “What am I doing wrong?!” Nothing. Bear just isn’t a good sleeper, but he WILL get there... eventually.
If you happen to have a party baby too, I feel for you. It’s not easy. In fact, it’s REALLY hard. We just have to remember that our babies are not terrible beings who are trying to kill us slowly through sleep deprivation, they are spirited little individuals. This phase will pass and become a hazy, laughable memory and before we know it they will be teenagers and we will need heavy machinery to get them out of bed. At least that's what I keep telling myself.
And no matter how bad the night, I know that I have this to look forward to in the morning:)
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