Happy Belated Valentine's Day!

It's February 21st and I'm finally getting around to posting about Valentine's Day. I promise I'll get the hang of this blogging thing soon...maybe.

Our Valentine's Day was low key but really nice. I got M a book based on one of his favorite TV shows (Archer) and he surprised me by bringing home sea scallops, steak, and lobster that he cooked on the grill. (Turns out Bear is actually allergic to shellfish as well- Awesome! I'm starting to feel like nothing is safe!) He also got me flowers and a really sweet card from him and Bear that made me cry. I used to pride myself on picking out cards for people, especially M. Apparently I've lost that ability because this year he got this (written on out grocery list pad):

How sweet are my editing skills?

I'll do better next year...

Flat Spots and Noggin Nests

It's no secret that babies spend a lot of time on their backs. Sure there's the mandatory 30 minutes of tummy time every day (pfft, right), but for the most part they hang out sunny side up on their crib mattresses, changing tables, bath tubs, play mats, gyms, and whatever other contraptions Babies 'R' Us has convinced you will put your baby on the fast track to Harvard, so when Bear developed a little bit of a flat spot I probably shouldn't have been surprised (though maybe I should have taken tummy time a little more seriously?). Well I love overreacting, so instead of brushing it off as something he would grow out of my mind went straight to "OMG, his skull is crushing under the weight of his 99th percentile head!" Since I'm as annoying as I am dramatic, I proceeded to repeatedly present Bear's flat spot to M, the pediatrician, my mom, the pediatric neurologist, my sister, and my other sister (who is a neurologist) and asked them if they were sure it looked okay. They all assured me, yes, it was barely noticeable and would most likely improve as he got older. Whew.

About a week after Bear's last doctors appointment I woke up and decided his flat spot definitely looked worse than it had the day before. I freaked out a little bit and decided that simply increasing tummy time wasn't going to cut it before heading over to the online message board that I frequent to asked the ladies there what they recommended for flat spots. A lot of them said they had success using the Boppy Noggin Nest. I quickly looked it up and forced M to order it immediately because I could see Bear's head getting flatter by the second (okay, maybe that's a slight exaggeration). I even made him pay the extra $20 for overnight shipping. Unfortunately the entire internet had run out of the brown one with circles, a.k.a. the boy version, so we had to go with the hot pink one with flowers.

The Nest arrived the next day looking as pink as I expected.

As of right now we're only using it in the Rock 'N Play Sleeper. If the flat spot gets any worse I'll start using it other places as well, but for now it seems to be doing the job. Plus, I think Bear needed a little pink in his life.

Birthday? What Birthday?

So apparently I suck at this blog-writing stuff. Between school, housework, grocery shopping, cooking, taking care of Bear, and trying not to look and dress like an un-showered Kevin Federline (really though, is there any other kind?), I can barely find the time. I supposed if I'm going to keep up with this then I really need to set aside some time every day (or at least every other day) to write. Okay, I put it in writing, so now I have to do it.

My birthday was a couple weeks ago but M was on call so we really couldn't do anything. Since his birthday was Sunday (and he was on call again) my mom came the weekend between our birthdays so that M and I could go out to dinner for the very first time without Bear.

I'm not quite sure why, but I had a lot of anxiety leading up to that weekend. Bear was starting to sleep better at night and then all of the sudden something changed (Teething? Growth spurt? 4-month waking? Who knows..) and he was back to his cat naps and constant night waking. The fact that he wasn't sleeping also meant that he was a horrible, cranky mess. Because of this I think I was terrified to leave him with my mom for fear that he would be completely unmanageable and I would come home to a screaming, overtired infant and an exhausted Nana who was never to return. Ridiculous, right? I ended up breaking down and confessing this to my mom over the phone after one particularly horrible night. She told me that I was being crazy and that there was "no baby that Nana couldn't handle."

So Saturday night we got all dressed up and headed out for our 5:30 reservations (early bird special anyone?) at the best steakhouse in the city. Since I can't eat soy or dairy due to Bear's MSPI I had my awkward conversation with the waitress, asking her if she could please make sure none of my food contained butter or was marinaded in anything that I didn't know about. I had a glass of red wine and M had some fancy Mad Men-esk drink that I can't remember the name of. Our steaks came out a short while later and were unfortunately grossly undercooked. M likes his steak a little rare and even he couldn't stomach the meat on the plate in front of him. Not wanting to say anything, we decided we'd just take them home and toss them on the grill. This turned out to be a good idea because it was around that time that the toddler in the booth behind us starting having a meltdown. (Seriously people? We live in a super kid-friendly city in which there are literally hundreds of great restaurants that would be perfect to take even the littlest kids too. I really don't think your 2-year-old is going to enjoy himself in the fanciest steakhouse in the city on a Saturday night.)

On the way home we decided that we definitely needed to stop at Walgreen's and get some candy. After deciding on Twizzlers, Mike and Ikes, and Starbursts we headed back to our apartment. Bear was still awake (it was only around 7pm at this point) so I gave him a bath and put him to bed.

Overall our little birthday celebration was pretty uneventful. I'm sure it was a mixture of anxiety over leaving Bear, exhaustion, and just plain getting older, but it didn't seem like much of a birthday at all. Long gone are the college days when I would celebrate my birthday like it was a national holiday (yes, I was that girl at the bar) and I'm okay with that. I have a 4-month-old now and better things to worry about than planning some huge, elaborate party.. until Bear's 1st birthday, that is;)

The three of us before dinner. Bear was clearly thrilled to be taking family photos.

A Year Ago Today...

I was at work and decided to take the pregnancy test I had in my purse that was left over from the two-pack I had bought the week before when I didn't get my period. Thinking there was not a chance in hell I was pregnant (I was on birth control pills), I looked down at the test immediately after peeing on it and saw that there was a line in the little window that was not the control window. I looked at the picture for "not pregnant" in the directions and thought "Hmm, that's weird.. my test is opposite the one in the picture." After about .5 seconds my dumbass moment passed. "Oh. My. God," I thought, "I'm pregnant." Sure enough the control line showed up a few seconds later. I literally started pacing. I didn't want to call M because he had a really important meeting with his boss that afternoon and I knew he would get all panicky and act like a total weirdo.

Later that night when M got home he found me lying in our bed sobbing. Completely freaked out, he asked what was wrong. I told him to go look in the bathroom, where he found 4 positive pregnancy tests. His only reaction was "Umm, wow," which was actually much better than I expected. He paced back and forth for a while while I continued crying. We had just moved to a new state, I was beginning my graduate program, and he had just started a new career. Not to mention we weren't even married and were living in a one-bedroom apartment. Having a baby was the last thing on our minds.

Over the next few days we both continued to freak out a bit. I knew in my head I was going to keep the baby and I think M knew too, he was just waiting for me to say it. As the weeks past I came around to the idea of being a mom and by the time we told our parents I was pretty excited.

Now I look at Bear and wonder what I did before him. Everything pre-baby seems so much less important to me now. It's like there was a piece missing that I never realized until he was here. He is my world and I can't imagine if things hadn't turned out the way that they did.

It's crazy how much can change in one year.